Be Part of the Solution
The following suggestions may help you choose options for interacting with others that are respectful and appropriate rather than intimidating and hostile.
Be aware of the impact of your behavior.
You may be sending subtle messages by the words you use, the jokes you tell, your body language, etc. Compliments or comments about someone’s appearance may be well-meaning, but can send the wrong message. It is more appropriate to focus instead on someone’s job / academic skills, abilities and accomplishments.
Develop sensitivity to other people’s discomfort.
Some may be able to communicate their discomfort directly; others may try indirectly to let you know they are uncomfortable or offended by your actions by looking or moving away, nervous laughter, fidgeting or redirecting conversation. Sharpen your listening and observation skills to pick up these cues.
Be aware of the impact of your role on a person’s ability to speak out about discomfort.
If you are in a position of authority, your perceived or actual power to make decisions affecting others can be intimidating or threatening. When individuals are concerned that their grade, status or access to job / academic opportunities is at stake, they can have a lot to lose by speaking out. To minimize the risk, individuals may often choose to communicate indirectly, put up with the behavior or leave the situation. For this reason, it is essential that non-threatening opportunities are available so individuals who are uncomfortable can provide you with feedback.
Understand culture differences.
Behavior and speech that may seem innocuous to you may be offensive or uncomfortable to someone else. Sensitivity to others’ different tolerance levels, comfort zones and style of communication (e.g., personal space, eye contact, joking, interacting in a casual manner) is critical, especially if you and the other individual are from different cultures or backgrounds.
Find alternative ways to mentor.
Create opportunities for providing support in ways that reduce discomfort and increase confidence. Some examples include pairing with a faculty or staff member when you are working on or supervising individual projects, closely monitoring projects in which individuals work in pairs, leaving your door open for one-on-one meetings and explicitly stating norms for non-discriminatory behavior openly in class or at staff meetings.
Be aware of your potential to bring about positive change.
Speak up when you witness inappropriate, offensive behavior. Recognize your influence as a role model by establishing appropriate, respectful relationships and creating an environment in which discrimination of any form is not tolerated.
(Adapted from UCLA Sexual Harassment Prevention Office http://www.sexualharassment.ucla.edu/PDF/Sexual%20Harassment%20Brochure.pdf)